Song Cry

Shorty killed the verse... at least she knew the words... damn my hopes are really high for Tuesday night... can't fucking wait!

We all got a story to tell...

When I was growing up I would not act on my instincts & was pretty private & not outgoing, but now I truly don't give a fuck & the Karmic Gods are rewarding me with great stories to tell. My teenage years were pretty fucking lame but boy am I making up for it now! My attitude is I don't give a fuck! If I have $10 to my name I'll bet $100 on the game, again: I don't care but I am rarely careless which makes for an interesting contrast. My yet-to-be written book will probably start on my 21st birthday as oppose to the young boring years that most autobiographies start with. Cut the fat & fast forward to the good parts! If you're lucky you may be an accessory to one of my stories. Here's to hoping! Peace & Love!

Phobia

When I was a toddler my parents would drop me off @ my grandma's house while they went to work. They would pick me up @ night & every single night, as we approached our home, there they were. Literally hundreds of frogs laying on all my toys, basketball hoop & pool table in the garage. Freaking out doesn't begin to describe my reaction. It terrified me. I wouldn't get out of the car. I would yell @ the top of my lungs thinking in my young mind that if I do it loud enough they'd leave me alone. Puerto Rico is filled with these fuckers & it's the only downside to living on the island for me. If my only options were running into highway traffic or running toward a single frog; I'm running lightning fast into traffic & hope that my "frogger" skills are up to par. And yes! I recognize the irony since frogger is a game about a frog dodging traffic. 'Til next time: Peace & Love!
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Monologue

One of my dreams,as weird as it sounds, is to write jokes for a comedian, preferably on a tv show. When I stand in front of a crowd I freeze up & stutter so I know that performance is not my thing but I also know that writing is. So I decided to write a topical joke everyday that you may find on a tv show. Without further ado my joke for the 26th of February:
"So a killer whale who years ago killed two other people, struck again. He had a good defense this time though, he blamed Michael Jackson's doctor."
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Winter Wonderland

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Great Song!

Enjoy!

It's Alright

I never knew he made a video for this. It comes off as him practicing for his Big Pimping video, but I do like the song...Enjoy!

So fucking DOPE!

Mayer Hawthorne - Maybe So, Maybe No from Stones Throw on Vimeo.

Does this make me look fat?

So I recently went home & my mom commented on my weight,mentioning that she thought I gained weight & looked "fat". My dad walks in & starts cracking jokes on her on how she must be blind because I've never been skinnier. Being the hispanic male that he is he naturally exaggerates. He said "el nene perdio como sesenta libras" it was so fucking funny! He started making fun of me for being skinny. It cemented the fact that no matter how little time I spent with him in my life but I am just like him! In 30 years I'll look just like him, we share the same laugh & a similar sense of humor. We are both equipped with devastating wit which I think he's proud of me for having. I come to embrace our similarities. I love the guy & I'm okay with the fact that I'll be a lot like him when I get older. Thanks for listening, Peace & Love!
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Happy V-day! NOT!

So two couples come in to have dinner. We offered only a $95 pre fix menu. Tips was added automatically. Of course when they got the check they complained about it,we lowered the percentage from 20 to 18. Still complained. They're check almost $600 & I'm not taking off the tip cuz I know they'll fuck the staff over. To add insult to injury one of the couples went to the restroom to fuck! Are you kidding me? It wasn't enough that you made out with your fat girlfriend for 2 hours??? Fuck you! Oh wait, someone already did that! Boom! Roasted! If you're tryina impress your fat girlfriend try not to be a cheap fuck! Thanks for listening! Peace & Love!
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We will have a celebrity dining with us on Valentine's Day!

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Just thought it looks cool...

Great Adverstising: Diesel

Trying to find the meaning of life in a Scotch!

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